How Do You Decide Whom To Marry? Contributed by Ruth Vetsch, Tum Tum
• You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should
like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10
• No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it
all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
• 23 is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
• You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
• Both don’t want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
• Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even
boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8
• On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough
to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
• When they’re rich. -- Pam, age 7
• The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7
• The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids
with them. It’s the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
• It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
• There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? -- Kelvin, age 8
And... 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
• Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10
Nine Months Later!
Contributed by Ruth Vetsch, Tum Tum
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and
headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they
pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could
spend the night.
‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m
recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my
house.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Jack said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks,
we’ll be gone at first light.’
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great
weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a
few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that
attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, ‘Bob, do you remember that good-looking
widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Said Bob.
‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a
visit?’
‘Well, um, yes!,’ Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that
I did.’
‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’
Bob’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘She just died and left me everything.’
Ah... Yep!
Contributed by Ruth Vetsch, Tum Tum
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks
them for their orders.
The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a Coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $9.40 please.” The
man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries
and a Coke..”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same..”
Again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress.
“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a salad,” says the man.
“Same,” says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you
manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.
When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I
ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of
money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress.. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or
something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always
there,” says the man..
The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”
The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs
who agrees with everything I say.”
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