Huckleberry Press

To Place an Ad CALL TOLL-FREE 1-877-272-6609 - Click Here to place your ad.

Click here to see this
week's For Sale and
Wanted Ads

CLICK HERE
To order "The
Best of the
Huckleberry's
Chuckleberries"

WARNING:
Chuckleberries are for
entertainment purposes only!
We are not responsible for
distorted views of reality or fits
of uncontrollable laughter.

CLICK HERE
TO PLACE AN AD

Smart Butts
Contributed by Ruth V., Tum Tum, WA
   Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-
to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a
few shelves and display racks set up.
   One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some senior is going to
walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”
   Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to
the window, looked around intensely, and rapped on the glass, then in a loud
voice asked, “What are you sellin’ here?”
   One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling butts.”
   Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, “You’re doing well. Only two left.”

Gonna Be a Bear
Contributed by Ruth V., Tum Tum, WA
   In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When
you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I
could deal with that.
   Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
with that, too.
   When you’re a bear girl, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could
definitely deal with that.
   If you’re a mamma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat
anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
I could deal with that.
   If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS
that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
   Yup, gonna be a bear!

Fairy Tale
Contributed by Ruth V., Tum Tum, WA
   Not often does one receive such a beautiful story. This should be passed on
and shared with our youth.
   Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl ‘Will you marry me?’
   The girl said, ‘NO!’
   So, the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing
and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of
money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The end.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE CHUCKLEBERRIES !

“The deterioration of every
government begins with the
decay of the principles on which
it was founded.” -- Montesquieu

“There is no worse tyranny than
to force a man to pay for what
he does not want merely
because you think it would be
good for him.” -- Robert Heinlein

Murphy’s Law
Contributed by Ruth V., Tum
Tum, WA
• Light travels faster than
sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear
them speak.
• If you lined up all the cars in
the world end to end, someone
would be stupid enough to try to
pass them, five or six at a time,
on a hill, in the fog.
• The shin bone is a device for
finding furniture in a dark room.
• A fine is a tax for doing
wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
• When you go into court, you
are putting yourself in the
hands of 12 people who weren’t
smart enough to get out of jury
duty.

Have a clean chuckleberry
you’d like to share?
E-mail it to:
ads@huckleberrypress.net

VAIT! Read da Sign!
Contributed by Rene’ H., Colville, WA
     Reverend Ole is the pastor of the
local Norwegian Lutheran Church
and Pastor Sven is the minister of the
Swedish Covenant Church across
the road. One day they were seen
together pounding a sign into the
ground that said:
     DA END ISS NEAR! TURN
YERSELF AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT’S
TOO LATE!
     As a car sped past them, the
driver leaned out his window and
yelled, “Leave me alone, you
Skandihoovian religious nuts!”
     From the curve they heard
screeching tires and a big splash.
     Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and
asks, “Do ya tink maybe da sign
should yust say, Bridge Out?!”

Breaking News!!
    To save the economy in 2010, the
Obama government will start
deporting all of the weird old people
in order to lower Social Security and
Medicare costs.
    I started crying when I thought of
you...
    RUN, YOU OLD FART, RUN!!!!!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE!
Have a clean chuckleberry
you’d like to share?
E-mail it to:
ads@huckleberrypress.net